What started as a drunken idea in a bar has morphed into this - a fantasy football podcast from me and my mates. The goal: make an interesting and entertaining fantasy podcast that might help you do alright, but hopefully not as well as me. We've heard what's out there, and we reckon we might be able to do just as well as those other duffers, maybe even better.



There's also some FC Tokyo stuff on here, but I now blog on all things Gasmen at On the Gas (click on link below).

Monday, December 20, 2010

LMS Fantasy Podcast Episode 8

Better late than never, here's Episode 8 of the Fantasy Podcast. Technical issues almost derailed the whole thing, I was ready to give up on multiple ocassions, but luckily Kesh was on the case and fixed everything, so this is posted three days after it was recorded. As it turns out we didn't miss much, with seven games postponed over the weekend.

Marrakesh and The Monsieur joined me in the living room for a discussion on, amongst other things, how shite our three teams are, and we manged to blab on for just over an hour in a monster five-parter, covering: the last two Gameweeks; results from the LMS Cup Qualifying Round; Questions for Kesh (back by popular demand, you know); a preview of the XMas & New Year slate of games; and a look at the LMS League and Head-to-Head standings.

Highlights included:
  • Kesh launching two seperate tirades against Mario Balotelli.....
  • and then forgetting Wayne Rooney's name
  • Mathew recounting, in horrifying detail, watching a bloke knock one out on a train platform
  • while getting his arse kicked by a 7% Chu-Hi
Nothing from the dog this time, sorry.

Enjoy.

Friday, December 17, 2010

FC Tokyo 2010 - Nine Months of Hell Part 2

FC Tokyo are relegated. They should all be lined up against a wall, and shot. I am disgusted. #weakc++ts #FCTokyo
5:24 PM Dec 4th via ÜberTwitter

*WARNING* This is an extremely long post. Feel free to come and go, read it in bits and pieces, if it's length, and negative tone, prove too much for one sitting.

This is Part 2 of the grieving/healing process I need to go through as I, and all Tokyo supporters, mourn the end of our 11 year run in J1. Part 1 was all about the numbers. Here, its time to vent hard at the 24 players who took the field in an FC Tokyo shirt in the 2010 J1 season. With very few exceptions, the squad vastly under-performed, and while injuries can be used as excuses in a few cases, to say they are even slightly to blame for our relegation is simply bollocks. That is because, even though we had quite a lot of player turnover, and failed, YET AGAIN, to fill our allowed quota of foreign players, we thought this was one of our best squads ever, loaded with homegrown talent.

At the end of 2009, we bade farewell to club legends Ryuji Fujiyama and Satoru Asari, legendary eater Yusuke Kondo - officially the fattest man ever to play in the J.League*, defenders Bruno Quadros, Teruyuki Moniwa and Hideki Sahara; and midfielder Jo Kanazawa. Of those seven, only Bruno (23 games) and possibly Fat Man (12 games, 6 starts) were important on-field members of the squad in '09 (the other 5 made 29 appearances between them), but would the veteran trio of Fujiyama, Asari and Moniwa be missed more behind the scenes, at training and in the clubhouse, than on the field?

Nah, we'll be fine, we thought, as we brought in (with descriptions from the club website): Masato Morishige - "Top-class defender. Strong in one-on-one situations, powerful header and able to build play;" Ricardinho (didn't come with much of a C.V., but hey, he's Brazilian!) - "Lightning fast striker with dazzling dribbling ability and thunderous shot with both feet;" Toshihiro Matsushita - "Dynamic attacking midfielder. A major threat with free kicks;" Kim Young Gwon (South Korean Under 21 international) - "Aerially dominant defender with accurate left-footed passing ability;" and our prolific youth team striker Kentaro Shigematsu - "Physically strong centre forward with sound technique under pressure. Clinical finisher." We weren't to know it at the time, but those descriptions would turn out to be utter bollocks.....

Right then, here we go. My opinions only, and if I've slated your favourite player then I'm sorry, but he deserved it. I decided to grade on the following scale based on how much was expected from individuals and how well they delivered:
  • A Excellent Season 
  • B Consistently Good, Perhaps Exceeded Expectations
  • C Acceptable Standard
  • D Below Acceptable Standard, Failed To Meet Expectations 
  • F Rubbish/Useless/Shite/Tatsuya
but unfortunately, because he didn't play a J1 game for us, after 10 appearances (2 starts) in '09, Sotan Tanabe's grade is - N/A, as is Hideto Takahashi's - 3 games (2 starts - hauled off both times) and Daishi Hiramatsu's - 1 game, 1 clean sheet, unused sub 7 times before achilles injury.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

FC Tokyo 2010 - Nine Months of Hell Part 1

Same XI for us to start 2nd half. This is like watching a train wreck in slow motion.... #FCTokyo
4:33 PM Dec 4th via ÜberTwitter

My tweet at the start of the second half of the final game of the season at Kyoto.... Sums up the season as a whole pretty well though.

This is the first of three parts I will post over the next week or two covering FC Tokyo's 2010 season, from the first game win over Yokohama through to the darkest day in our club's history, December 4th, 2010, the day we plummeted through the trapdoor into J2, our first ever relegation. Our eleven year run in J1 is over, we've gone from legitimate title contender in '08 & '09 (and Nabisco Cup Champions '09) to relegated laughing-stock in 2010, and we are a J2 team for the first time since our inaugural year as a J.League club, 1999.

Here I'll go through the season in numbers, including how we fared differently (ie. worse) than in '09, and in later installments I'll go through the squad player-by-player before finishing with a look at who'll still be around and how we'll fare in J2 in 2011. Some of you will no doubt want to draw a line under what went on this season, put it behind you and try to forget it, but I'm still processing it all so I'm attempting this as therapy, hoping that at the end of Part 3 I'll finally have "closure" as they say in psychology circles. A mixture of stats, analysis, ranting and foul language, here is my take on FC Tokyo's 2010 season:

I warned of the threat of relegation as far back as late-August, and, despite chastising those who thought we were "too good to go down," I guess in the back of my mind I thought we were, too. We kept making it so hard for ourselves though, and so many potentially pivotal moments in the run-in: Gonda's penalty save v Niigata; the gutsy win in the Shimizu typhoon; Hirayama's tour de force at Yokohama and Oguro's brilliant lob v Nagoya all ended up being for nought, as Kobe just wouldn't go away, and we shat our trousers in the last ten minutes of the home finale v Yamagata and all 90 minutes at Kyoto.

We finished 16th on 36 points with 8 wins, 12 draws and 14 losses. Tellingly, just half our points came in games against the other eight teams who finished in the bottom half, our record was W:4 D:6 L:6 against those teams, and W:4 D:6 L:8 against the top half. Our inability to do the business against the teams we were scrapping for survival with, like Omiya, Yamagata, Sendai and Kobe ultimately cost us, while we took only one point from a possible six against Kyoto.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Kyoto 2-0 FC Tokyo: J1 Week 34 (FC Tokyo Are Relegated)

I'm sat here, almost two full days after it happened, and I still can't get my head round the fact that we are now a J2 team. How the hell could we have lost to Kyoto, an absolute rabble who hadn't won for almost three months, and only three times all season until Saturday? And what the fuck was Okuma playing at, putting out the team he did, and persisting with it for so long?

We all knew the score going in. The biggest game in the history of FC Tokyo. Our eleven-year run in J1 on the line. We'd blown our chance to secure safety the previous weekend against Yamagata, but a point ahead of Kobe, we needed to win or simply match their result and we'd stay up. We could even afford to lose if they drew. Our fate was in our hands, we'd won our past three away games (against vastly superior teams to Kyoto), and Kobe had a "tough-looking" trip to Urawa to contend with. We weren't to know that the Red CubicZirconias would perform like an Under 13 girls team, but as long as we took care of business and didn't let the pressure get to us...

The first signs of concern came when the team was announced. Naohiro Ishikawa was missing through injury so Ricardinho came in for him (ho hum), but on the other flank Naotake Hanyu was dropped and replaced by Tatsuya Suzuki (what the FUCK??!!), making his first start since Urawa at home in early September, and first under Okuma's management. He must've trained the house down during the week, or maybe Hanyu nicked the last eclair from the dessert buffet right out from under the manager's fingertips or something, but that one was hard to fathom. Tatsuya is my favourite whipping boy (because he is shite), but even his staunchest supporter must've raised their eyebrows at his selection.

But wait, there's more....our joint top-scorer, Masashi Oguro - who had started EVERY LEAGUE GAME since he joined us during the World Cup break, that's TWENTY-ONE CONSECUTIVE GAMES - was dropped and replaced by a defender, Masato Morishige. Twenty-one starts, seven goals, five goals in the previous nine games, the best finisher we have, and he was left on the bench. Absolutely ludicrous from Okuma, and anyone who wants to try and defend that decision needs their head read. Tiredness? Absolute bollocks. Tactical? Some tactics, leaving your best striker on the bench.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

FC Tokyo 1-1 Yamagata: J1 Week 33

Two numbers sum up last Saturday evening at Ajinomoto Stadium - FC Tokyo's last home game of the season - for me. Two little numbers that added up to a pissed-off fan fuming at his wildly inconsistent team. How could we go from beating the newly-crowned champions, away, to failing to beat a team with absolutely NOTHING to play for, at home?

The first number is four, as in four minutes. Four bloody minutes. If we could've just hung on for another four minutes, we would be celebrating our brilliant end to the season, where our Gasmen proved they were "too good to go down," beating three top-half teams in our last seven games on the way to seeing off Kobe's valiant survival attempt. But we didn't hang on, and while we didn't lose, it sure felt like we did, as we blew our first chance to ensure we'll still be playing in the top flight in 2011. We are just a point ahead of Kobe going into the final game of the season next Saturday, but more on that later....

The other number is one. Now that could mean a few things from, or after, this game: we scored one goal; we are one point ahead of Kobe; there's one game left, Ricardinho's only scored one league goal all season etc etc, but the one "one" that really sums up the evening, and the season in a nutshell is this:

FC TOKYO WON ONE OUT OF 15 LEAGUE GAMES AT AJINOMOTO STADIUM IN 2010.

Monday, November 29, 2010

LMS Fantasy Podcast - Cup Draw Special

TGI Fridays in Machida was the place to be last Friday (funnily enough), as the qualifying round draw for the LMS Cup took place. The Monsieur suggested I bring along the recording device to capture all the shenanigans, and here's the result.

There were five LMS managers in attendance (a sixth came, drank Grolsch and left) and the banter was flowing thick and fast, just bear in mind it was done before the latest weekend of Premier League games, before my season went down the toilet like last night's vindaloo.

By the way, if you download this to an iPod or mp3 player, don't have the volume up too high, coz it was noisy as hell in the bar, and we might have had the recording device A LITTLE TOO CLOSE TO OUR MOUTHS at times.

Enjoy.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Nagoya 0-1 FC Tokyo: J1 Week 32

We had failed to get the river under control on Saturday, but FC Tokyo had little time to mope and moan over a stupid river, having to front-up three days later against the newly-crowned J.League Champions, Nagoya. The perennial under-achievers from Aichi claimed their first league title away at Shonan on the weekend, and The Gasmen faced a daunting task, with Grampus having lost only twice at home all season and intent on putting on a show for the Toyota Stadium faithful in their first home game since their landmark triumph. Somewhat surprisingly, the crowd of 33,655 was not their highest home gate of the season, perhaps half the city was still drunk after the celebrations (and Tokyo were hoping half their players were too), but arguably, this was the ideal time to face them. We had it all to play for: just a point outside the relegation zone with three games left, they already had possession of the giant serving platter trophy.

There were two changes to the Tokyo XI that started against Kawasaki: Naotake Hanyu was rested/dropped (open to interpretation, I'll go with rested) and replaced by Ricardinho on the left of midfield; and Sota Hirayama was suspended, which had the potential to be a massive out considering his form and blossoming confidence  in recent games. His absence forced a tactical change from Okuma, with Mukuhara returning to the team at right back, Tokunaga moving from defence into a holding midfield role (in which he had done terribly all season), and Kajiyama moving forward into the "hole" behind the lone striker, hopefully playing the Steven Gerrard to Masashi Oguro's Fernando Torres.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

FC Tokyo 1 Kawasaki Frontale 2: J1 Week 31

The Tamagawa Classico. Get the river under control. Despite the worst efforts of the marketing departments of both teams, this has developed into a bit of a rivalry over the past few seasons. FC Tokyo have had terrible trouble keeping up with Frontale in the league, more often than not losing out in both home and away ties. One particular 7-0 home drubbing a few seasons ago is an especially painful memory. Despite the clash that really mattered, last year's triumph in the Nabisco Cup Final, going the Gasmen's way, once again we lost out to them narrowly (and probably unfairly) at Todoroki earlier this year.

Going in to this one though, confidence was high in the Tokyo camp. After last week's impressive win in Yokohama, we were able to see off Jeffery United in the last 16 of the Emperor's Cup midweek despite fielding a second string side. Kawasaki on the other hand had lost out after 120 minutes with largely their best team out. They were also missing their best player and the man with the most slappable face in Japanese football, Mr. Kengo Nakamura.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

LMS Fantasy Podcast Episode 7

The Monsieur and Kesh joined me in the living room for Episode 7 of the Fantasy Podcast. We had plenty to cover, and therefore blabbered on for just on an hour, but it's all good stuff and I'm sure you'll agree.

We covered the past three Fantasy Premier League Gameweeks, The Monsieur presented a quiz on the stats that matter in the fantasy game, we previewed Gameweeks 14 and 15 and give you five teams we think have the best pair of fixtures, and then did our usual run-down on the standings in the Last Man Standing, in both the League and the H2H.
Highlights included:
  • Impressive performances from two players on our Criminals and Philanderers Team noted,
  • Kesh and I doing horribly on the quiz,
  • Kesh getting two questions about Gary Cahill right,
  • Mathew getting to the bottom of those "motivation" questions
Enjoy.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Yokohama 1-2 FC Tokyo: J1 Week 30

Having taken five points from the past three games - all against top half opposition - FC Tokyo hoped to keep that decent little run going when we visited Nissan Stadium to face Yokohama on Sunday. We'd blown a lead the previous weekend against Gamba, but hung on for an important point that saw us stay ahead of Kobe on goal difference. Only five games remained before kickoff, and anything we could take away from this would be vital, as our relegation rivals also faced difficult away trips.

Morishige was the latest member of the squad to be suspended for too many yellows, so, with Kajiyama returning from a suspension of his own to partner Yonemoto in central midfield, Tokunaga moved back into central defence. Otherwise it was the same team that shared the spoils with Gamba the previous Saturday, and our front two of Oguro and Hirayama were looking to have a big day in the absence of Yokohama's Japan international centre-halves Nakazawa and Kurihara. Oguro had scored in four of the past five games, and Sota twice in the same period, so we had good reason to be optimistic they'd be able to break through against their makeshift (and under-sized) backline.

A slightly disappointing crowd of 29,670 was in - that would be an excellent number for us, but they are sixth and fighting for an Asian Champions League spot - and after Ronald McDonald led the teams out, we got things underway, and we were straight into gear. Just four minutes in, from a Gonda goal kick, Hirayama, Oguro and Casual combined to release Ishikawa down the right, but his cross was behind the latter two as they dashed into the box and was controlled by a Yokohama defender. The ball was passed out to Shunsuke Nakamura, but Yone, who has been so important in the two games since his return, was onto him like a flash, and poked the ball away about 30 yards from goal. Hirayama was in the right place at the right time, and after letting the ball roll across his body, he unleashed a thunderous left-footed daisy-cutter that scorched the turf as it flew past Iikura in the Yokohama goal, giving The Gasmen the lead.

An amazing strike from the big man, and the perfect start for us, and he almost made it two just four minutes later after a brilliant slaloming run down the left by Ishikawa, but after Nao's square ball found him inside the box and he took a touch, Sota shot a little too close to the keeper. It was all us in the first 10 minutes, but our seemingly natural self-defence mechanism kicked in, and Yokohama found things a lot easier as we sat back. Pretty much a carbon copy of the Gamba game, we'd just scored the first goal much earlier this time.

Predictably, Shunsuke was at the centre of everything they did going forward, and they were able to sustain pressure as we couldn't keep the ball - Casual, in particular, was guilty of extreme Casual-ness (even for him) on several occasions- and the ex-Celtic hero (and Espanyol bust) twice fired past Gonda's left-hand post: in the 16th minute he blazed away from 30 yards; then in the 31st minute, with Mukuhara caught horribly out of position and Tokunaga failing to get over and cover, he strolled into the box and thumped a strike right across the face of goal, past Gonda and, thankfully, the onrushing Ono too.

We were on the ropes a bit, and they were using the full width of the pitch to keep us stretched, but we almost got a priceless second goal seven minutes before the break, following some proper pandemonium in the Yokohama box. Mukuhara launched a high cross from the right, Hirayama controlled on his chest in the D, then nodded down as he turned into the area. He was crowded out by three defenders but as he fell to the floor he flicked the ball into the path of Konno. Under pressure, and with the keeper bearing down, Konno shot straight at Iikura, Oguro was following up but was off-balance as he shot and the ball was cleared off the line by a sliding defender, BUT straight to Tokunaga, who shot left-footed from the left edge of the six-yard box, but too high and Yokohama could exhale again.

It stayed 1-0 until halftime, and although the Nissan Stadium beer girls need to go back to pouring school, spirits were high in the away end, as we had absorbed most of what they'd thrown at us, and shown an ability to still pose some danger at the other end, despite wanting to sit on our lead.

The second half opened very similarly to the Gamba game, however, as Yokohama really started to turn the screw. The little fella Ono had looked lively throughout, and had scored in two straight Marinos home games before this, and he made it three from three at home in the 59th minute, when the overlapping fullback Amano took a pass from Hanato and crossed low and hard across the six-yard box, Ono arriving to tap in at the far post. Questions had to be asked about Tokyo defensively on the goal, Hokuto got sucked-in to trying to win the ball off Hanato even though Konno and Yonemoto were in attendance, opening the door for Amano to get round the back and cross under no pressure.

Again, the similarities with the previous weekend's game continued, we'd held out for 50-odd minutes after scoring, but the opposition's pressure had finally told. The difference here was there was 30 minutes left rather than 10, and thus plenty of time for either team to find a winner. Ricardinho had replaced Oguro four minutes before Yokohama's goal, clearly to provide fresh legs and pace up front to make us more dangerous on the break, but after they drew level he spent most of his time on the left flank as part of a five-man midfield. Things had evened up, but we had not dropped our heads and went in search of that winner.

It came in some style, and was just reward for an excellent all-round performance from our big striker. We'd been having some joy down Rica's side, then in the 79th minute (with their right back well up the pitch following a botched attack) Hanyu led a break and played a superb 50 metre pass to Hirayama down the left. With Rica joining in, Sota held the ball up, waited for Rica's run across him and played him in on the left side of the box, continued his run and took Rica's excellent return pass at full tilt, lashing a fantastic first-time strike past Iikura and into the far corner. Absolutely brilliantly worked goal, great awareness and a great ball from Hanyu, then just a training ground one-two executed to perfection by Sota and Rica.

Some advice for Sota, though: work on a new goal celebration, son! You can't run fast enough to do the knee slide properly!!!

A minute later and it really should've been game, set and your shout at the bar, but Ishikawa somehow missed the target, wasting a gilt-edged chance created by Rica's ball and Hirayama's lay-off. Yokohama poured forward, but we dug in and, one or two sphincter-tightening moments aside, hung on through the last 10 minutes of the 90 and then another four in stoppage time. It had taken 41 matches in all competitions, but a Tokyo player had finally bagged a brace in 2010, and the big man gave the "Sha-sha-shaaaas" his best effort as the away end cheered the players back to the sheds.

A huge win and a massive boost for the final four games then, and it saw us go three points clear of Kobe, but in the late game they fought back from a goal down to draw at Niigata, and reduce it back to two, the same margin we now trail Omiya by, after they lost at Nagoya.

I looked at our run-in over the last five games last week, and all those games are obviously equally important as we scrap for points, but this coming Saturday we've got an absolute corker on our hands at Aji Sta as we look to "Get the River Under Control?" against Kawasaki in the Tamagawa Classico. They've won the last three league meetings, but WE WON THE CUP last November, and have built up plenty of confidence from our four game unbeaten run. Should be a big crowd in and a cracking atmosphere.